I'm a weak evangelist trying to be a better human

The idea of a personal, loving, intervening, responsive, and self-revealing God has never seemed farther for me than it is right now. It is becoming less and less-convincing for me.

Over the past few years, Christianity (as is often preached) has become almost impossible for me to believe. I can understand why the Gospel (as commonly preached) is so hard for many to believe in nowadays. Here, I paraphrase the 19th century European historian/philosopher Renan who once noted the irony that “the miracles that originally inspired belief in the gospel may eventually be the same things that keep later generations from believing.”

Likewise, it’s hard for me to take seriously the metaphysical and supernatural occurrences that seem to be so prevalent in the scriptures of the global religions yet so absent in life as we often experience it.

I would like to follow the simple, essential teachings of the human being known as Jesus of Nazareth, but not at the cost of believing incredible ideas and embracing the implications of a belief that condemns most of the earth’s inhabitants. I also don’t want a faith that is frightened, arrogant, or desperate. If anything, I am desperate for the truth and I try to be open to the many sources that it may come from (be it through science, archeology, experience, or the wisdom of another religious and ethical tradition). This makes me a weak evangelist, but I hope it makes me a better human.

A friend of mine who attends seminary with me and also maintains a blog of his own, makes a powerful point in his post "Pondering Holy Destruction". He says, "Any theology, if it is to be of any use, needs to have as a conversation partner the findings of the empirical sciences." I would also add that such a faith-if it is to be relevant- must be in constant dialogue with the complex (and often harsh) realities of human existence such as genocides, floods, stray bullets, body counts, etc.

How can we continue to pontificate and debate over metaphysical notions and otherworldly realms (that we aren’t sure even exist) while the suffering of our fellow humans (who we know exist!) takes place right outside our windows?

I appreciate honest, humble and helpful people and have found such people in a wide variety of religious traditions. However, I have less patience for those who insist on following their scriptural authorities despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. I understand their anxiety, but I no longer share it.

It seems to me that much of the world’s religious history is a testament to the power of the human imagination and the human need for meaning. The whole enterprise of belief seems to be so rooted in so much speculation that I find it difficult to imagine evangelizing to others with the claim that one’s religious tradition possesses the only, true way to understand reality. I believe that all of us ground our beliefs (and disbeliefs) in those things we want to be true about the universe.

Instead of debating and speculating about otherworldly realms, I think we should realize how interconnected all of our lives are on this earth and work to help and serve the real people we see everyday. The lyrics of John Lennon’s classic song, “Imagine” make more sense to me now than ever before.