Callings & Convictions

Are we following God's calling or are we following our own convictions?

Throughout the past several years, I have heard numerous religious people make bold claims about what they believe God has “called” them to do. Throughout human history there have been countless individuals from various faith traditions who were utterly convinced that they heard a direct word from the Creator of the Universe that commanded them to perform a particular action. All of this sounds inspiring until it hits close to home and you start hearing conflicting reports between two well intentioned people who both claim that God has spoken to them.

I have grown skeptical of such claims. I now realize that humans can’t help but be somewhat subjective when it comes to interpreting an objective fact. Just because a person claims that they heard from God doesn’t mean that what they are claiming is true. This is why it is so difficult to trust people who make bold claims of divine sanction and absolute authority.

Sometimes, I think people use the phrases “God told me” and/or “God called me” as the ultimate trump cards to simultaneously silence their critics and stamp divine authority onto their viewpoints. In fact, it makes my skin crawl when I hear phrases like this. I have said similar things before and I regret having done so, but because this irritates me so, I have stopped making such claims. There are many psychological factors that influence our perception of things.

Oftentimes, I think our perceptions are determined when we see what we were already looking for, instead of seeing what is really there. Here, I recall serving on a jury last Fall when the prosecutor challenged us with a test of our observation skills. He asked us to take one minute to look around the courtroom and to memorize as many red-colored objects as we could. A minute later he asked us to close our eyes and keep them closed as we told him about all the red-colored objects we saw. We mentioned dozens of objects including the ear-rings of one juror, the slender second-hand on the courtroom clock, and the fire alarm in the back of the room. We felt secure that we were keen observers. Our eyes were still shut when he asked us if we could recall any objects that were blue. We sat in silence with our closed eyes racking our memories for images of blue objects. After an extended period of awkward silence, the prosecutor asked us to open our eyes. We were shocked at how many blue objects we failed to notice even though many of them were right in front of our faces. That exercise reinforced my belief that we often see what we want to see. We are all guilty of this.

I have been in conversations where a group of people are trying to make a controversial decision. Many of us want to make wise decisions and so we trust the counsel of those we respect. These might be our friends, our families, our elders, our favorite authors, our heroes or those who agree with us.

I have found that in some cases, people won’t trust you unless you can make a claim that God gave you the stamp of approval. Such claims of authority give power to words that would otherwise have fallen on deaf ears. You probably won’t gain much of a hearing if say, “Hello, I have some ideas and opinions I wanted to share with you based on what I’ve read and experienced.” People who use phrases like that just don’t command attention and authority like the special person who can say, “Behold, God came to me in a vision and told me to tell you this!” and end it with a “…Thus saith the Lord!”

A classmate of mine recently told me about a young lady who attended our seminary who also grew skeptical of all the “God told me” talk. During the years she was working on her Master’s of Divinity she had brief courtships with four different gentlemen who each told her that God told them to marry her. Needless to say, she didn’t marry any of them. Put off by their comments and the implications of what their comments said about the nature of God, truth, and revelation…she grew skeptical and eventually stopped believing in this kind of God altogether.

This kind of “God told me” talk, while meaningful for many, has begun to sound like madness to me. We can’t be careless with our words and I hope that I am not being careless with mine.

I have come to believe that while many of us act off of claims of having a divine calling, I believe our actions are driven by the fact we have a human conviction. We may have a conviction about what our experience has led us to believe is right or pleasing to God, but this does not mean that God called us to do anything.

I wonder if it is less of an issue of God “calling” us to do something and more of an issue that we want to do something that we believe is important. Is it really just a matter of making a commitment in response to what we perceive as the needs of the world? Some want to feed the starving masses. Others want to save souls. Others will seek to defend the oppressed. Others will seek to liberate others through education.

Is it a coincidence that those who have seen the suffering of starving children often go into a life of humanitarian aid while those who think the world is dark and fallen and in need of a savior consider “soul-saving” to be the highest priority?

I have several friends who have accepted their “call” into the pastoral ministry. They tell me that they went into the ministry because they had a heart for "lost souls." I believe that they are passionate about what they believe. These are some of the most loving guys I’ve ever met. But I can't help but wonder if they are responding to a divine calling or if they are operating out of their own convictions as to what they should commit their lives to.

Ultimately, while I still remain skeptical of the “God told me” talk, I think that people who truly believe that God communicated a particular message directly to them should instead say “I believe God told me” something. I’ve heard it said recently, “Be careful about telling people what God said, because someone might believe you.”

I look at myself and realize that, for better or for worse, I am driven mostly by my personal convictions. One of my convictions is the idea that oftentimes the callings that we really need to respond to are as simple as the voiced needs of our neighbors.

I'd rather be a good neighbor

Why are so many of us obsessed with the idea that we need to engage in constant combat with someone or something outside of ourselves? Why do so many of us only find ourselves uniting with others when we share a common enemy? Don’t we realize that this “warrior approach” only demonizes others and makes enemies out of those we are called to love and build relationships with? Have we not noticed our tendency to succumb to the tribal instincts within us that tempt us to classify unique and complex individuals into simplistic categories of “us” and “them”, enemy and ally?

Over the years I have heard many “church folk” talk excitedly about being either a prayer warrior, a soldier in the army of the Lord, or bearing the armor of God in battle with the spiritual forces of darkness. I realize that this is metaphorical language that uses military terms to communicate spiritual ideas. But I think many believers have literalized these terms and have adopted a tribal view of the world where those who are different from them are seen as enemies that need to be conquered, colonized, condemned or converted.

Over the last few weeks I finally realized two important things about myself. First off, I’m not at all interested in being a warrior. I would rather devote my energies towards being a good neighbor. I would rather live my life as someone who is humble before mystery, helpful towards others and honest with myself.

I think that is what the needs of the world call for. I don’t think anything fruitful can come from bloody battles in the name of terror and territory. If anything, I think the most important battles that we need to engage in are those psychological ones taking place in our own minds between the selfless and selfish aspects of our thoughts and actions.

Don’t get me wrong. I have seen enough to convince me that evil "walks the earth" as a real and destructive force in the world, but I don't consider it to be a cosmic being nor do I think we can vanquish it by destroying it or those who commit acts of cruelty towards others. I see evil as a manifestation of the dark sides of our own personalities and an energy that needs to be redirected into something constructive.

When I look at how modern nations seek to deal with the threat of terrorism, I notice that we spend too much energy dealing with the symptoms and not enough energy dealing with the root causes of what makes a terrorist. If they are hungry, they need bowls not bombs. If they are resentful and hurt, the last thing they need is for us to kill them or their loved ones and give them yet another justified reason to hate us. We are foolish to think that we can eliminate the threat of terrorism by becoming terrorists ourselves.

I am amazed by the fact that in our interconnected world community there are those of us who continue to believe that killing and torturing other people will make us more secure. I don’t think warriors have what it takes to vanquish terrorism. Weapons of force and intimidation are ultimately powerless when it comes to changing the human heart. Instead, I believe that our hearts of stone will only be softened by acts of compassion, empathy, hospitality, mercy and forgiveness. These are the “weapons” of the neighbor- the only weapons that can bring healing.

The second thing I realized about myself that I am more interested in having conversations than forcing conversions. The conversations I enjoy are not those that seek to manipulate and defeat others, but those which serve as opportunities to learn about others. Mind you, I think conversion (a change of mind and heart) is very often a good thing. But the decision to convert should be an individual’s free choice, not the result of manipulation or compulsion. We can’t change or control people’s minds or behaviors. We can only be ourselves and hope that in doing so we can influence others in constructive ways.

I think, in most cases, warriors and neighbors both seek to make the world a better place. But I don’t think that any good will come from efforts to dehumanize or destroy those who see life from a different perspective than we do. I guess it boils down to at least two very different ways of interacting with those we consider strangers. If we are focused on being neighbors then we will likely view strangers as new people to meet and experience. On the other hand, if we are focused on being warriors then it seems we will fear strangers as see them as threats that need to be eliminated.

I don’t believe any of us have the right to condemn or destroy anyone else. This is my conviction even though the Bible contains many different and sometimes conflicting images of God which would seem to say otherwise. But when I read the Gospel stories I find Jesus encouraging his listeners to love God and be merciful neighbors, not merciless warriors. Jesus sent his disciples (students) out into the world as vulnerable sheep amongst vicious wolves, arming themselves only with love, and commanding them to be as "wise as a serpent and as harmless as a dove" (Matthew 10:16).