Courage to be contrary

"If you care about the points of agreement and civility, then, you had better be well-equipped with points of argument and combativity, because if you are not then the 'center' will be occupied and defined without your having helped to define it, or determine what and where it is... Conflict may be painful, but the painless solution does not exist in any case and the pursuit of it leads to the painful outcome of mindlessness and pointlessness; the apotheosis of the ostrich."

Just yesterday, a good friend of mine forwarded me the above excerpt from author Christopher Hitchens' 2001 book, Letters to a Young Contrarian. I find Hitchens' well-phrased words to be helpful because I often find myself surrendering my true views and silently yielding my intellectual and moral stances for fear of causing conflict with other people. Such a habitual reflex has begun to erode my credibility, my integrity and my sanity.

Perhaps it is indeed naive to believe that any significant or worthwhile progress can be made without taking unpopular stances, making painful decisions or paying costly prices. And perhaps I am getting too old to expect growth to come about by another other way.

I suspect that much of my hesitancy to engage in conflict or debate is caused by intense feelings of inadequacy. But, in light of Hitchens' advice, this insecurity can be largely remedied by taking advantage of those times when I am not actively engaged in a debate or discussion about controversial matters and committing myself to sufficient preparation and articulation of my ideas.

If anything, even if I am unable to provide a conclusive answer to a dilemma, I can at least master my ability to understand other perspectives and articulate my own series of challenging questions that seek to dismantle falsehoods and provoke a thoughtful reappraisal and reexamination of facts, personal prejudices, philosophical underpinnings and ethical implications. But even this feels less than sufficient as I also need to take steps to honestly affirm that which I hold to be true and that which I understand to be of value- even when I feel the bounds of my own limited vision and partial knowledge.

I feel less need to provide conclusive answers to stifle any disagreement with my ideas, but I can at least articulate the view from where I stand- knowing that we all have so much more to learn.

This is the challenge. This is my goal.